Shower talk04 May 2016
I started thinking about writing this whilst taking a shower, at the time the idea of it sounded more like a retro. Then upon getting out of the shower I realized how my apartment was full of turtle shit (literally speaking); so I figured it’s better talking about how things are going in my life, because it’s been a while since I last talked to fellow humans about that topic.
Now before you move on clicking on blinking links on the right as a dear friend just surfaced and you dearly want to talk to him about Phuc Long being spectacular these days despite their significantly decreasing customer base, there is only one important thing here: to be content.
I believe I manage to hold a strong command of that phrase, and that I understand it to every bit, I’ve been counting it off in every decision during the last two years.
Giang asked me recently whether I still have a coffee friend (well, to frame it more properly: a milk tea friend), and that without one would I feel OK? Well, no and yes. The folks over Mac Thi Buoi are getting used to me ordering one cup of tea lately, and has long stopped asking why I am not with another one like I used to. I also long ago stopped thinking about me being actively acquainted with another human, for the sake of not being a loner, and start to digest the fact that I pull strings off just fine by myself, talking to myself throughout the day is absolutely under the line, and sometimes treating myself to a nice dinner at a dimly lighted restaurant with a paper will not put me in constant embarrassment.
At work I slowly transition myself to tasks that aren’t always customer facing. Ping me with this two years prior and I’d go crazy over the prospect of it. I’m the kinda guy who wants to see stuff I build being used by others. A lot of others. Now I see to tasks that may involve no one, sit unattended at the back, or talk to distributed systems scattered around dry data centers over continents but humans.
Or as a senior put it: It all gets to be technical in the end.
I still hold faith. Friends that have drifted away are a given. The seek for (new, reconnected) friends isn’t a bed thought anymore. I find myself reading more. Offscreen, how the congress is acting on, and Dan Brown.
I travel more and pause whilst traveling more. Sight seeing usually isn’t the thought top off my mind, but sitting reserved at a vendor somewhere looking at how people interact. I catch up with people quite at ease, often do I find myself talking to guards and street workers, leading them on random stuff like why their kids should learn the craft of making things, or putting a dent in the universe and putting a dent in Bai Dai sound equally awesome, or bột hôm nay chiên vàng ươm, dì bán phá lấu kế bên ngồi tấm tắc khen, nước tương của con đừng bỏ ớt trái nha dì.
I love how two years ago I stepped on a plan to a strange land, interacted with people who speak Balkan languages, walked the Ohrid lake side streets hundreds of times, feeling more conscious of myself all along. It excites me the moment I tell people I have a Muslim friend, who is young and always acts like a rascal, drives my to crazy religous discussions at 3AM which last till morning.
Mom has stopped putting me against walls for a few years now, 99 out of 100 times listen peacefully to my rambling. She wants nothing but health for her children. It took me a few miserable months to consciously accept the idea of moving away. Wasn’t that me 5 years ago who talked non stop about having a house of my own up some hill, realizing Mom got off her hill 18 years ago for me to be exposed to a more social, fledged, fulfilled world?